wifes
Printed From: CorrectCraftFan.com
Category: General Correct Craft Discussion
Forum Name: Off Topic
Forum Discription: Anything non-Correct Craft
URL: http://www.CorrectCraftFan.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16592
Printed Date: April-28-2024 at 9:45pm
Topic: wifes
Posted By: eric lavine
Subject: wifes
Date Posted: February-18-2010 at 11:16pm
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honey whats on the tv?, dust
honey,i need someting that does 0 to 150 in 3 seconds, get a scale Joe and mindy went to walmarts, Joe threw a 12 packer in the cart, Mindy asked, what are you doing we are on a budget, and Joe reluctantly put the 12 pack back. they both headed to the cosmetic department and mindy added to the cart some new lipstick, eye liner, powder totaling $22.00. Joe upset asked i thought we were on a budget? we are but dont you want me to look pretty for you? joe's answer, thats what the 12 pack was for ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Replies:
Posted By: hasbeenskier
Date Posted: February-18-2010 at 11:46pm
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I might think it...but it would never cross my lips. ------------- hasbeenskier |
Posted By: The Lake
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 12:42am
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Eric, always knew you were a charmer.
Chuck ------------- Walk on Water www.coldwater.me http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=775&sort=&pagenum=3&yrstart=1966&yrend=1970 - 69 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: OverMyHead
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 2:48am
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THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A Minnesota GIRL
The first cousin married a woman from Massachusetts . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second cousin married a woman from Florida . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Minnesota . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees. ------------- For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats. 1987 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 10:20am
 
Q: Why don't women fart...? A: They don't shut up long enough to obtain the required pressure... ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
Posted By: PAPA
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 10:51am
and my wife wonders why I read this board 
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Posted By: tullfooter
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 11:00am
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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
Because she was a woman! ------------- Play hard, life's not a trial run. '85 BFN '90 BFN White Lake, Michigan |
Posted By: MI-nick
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 12:15pm
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how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?? get your wife a shovel... ------------- As far as I can tell, I'm not quite sure... |
Posted By: MI-nick
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 12:17pm
also, I used to have this posted on my refrigerater...until she took it down...from a 50's era housekeeping magazine...
 ------------- As far as I can tell, I'm not quite sure... |
Posted By: 8122pbrainard
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 12:40pm
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Don't forget the great memory they seem to have. During moments of disagreements, they always seem to bring up something you did like 25 years ago. Then, I can't even remember the incident!!! ------------- /diaries/details.asp?ID=1622" rel="nofollow - 54 Atom /diaries/details.asp?ID=2179" rel="nofollow - 77 Tique 64 X55 Dunphy Keep it original, Pete < |
Posted By: Waldo
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 12:55pm
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Right when I saw wifes not starting with a capital letter. I knew Lavine posted it.
Waldo |
Posted By: Hollywood
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 1:50pm
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and with the f ------------- |
Posted By: Waldo
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 2:27pm
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His spell check button melted years ago.
Waldo |
Posted By: tullfooter
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 2:39pm
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After you read that, you can understand why they call them "the good old days!".
I like the part where it says "his topics of conversation are more important than yours". I especially like where it says "don't complain... even if he stays out all night. I would be content if my wife followed the rule, "Be happy to see him" Man, am I glad my wife doesn't peruse this site. ------------- Play hard, life's not a trial run. '85 BFN '90 BFN White Lake, Michigan |
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 4:52pm
Right back at ya Tull... Especially since Chantal's humor is kinda sensitive to women and wife jokes... ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
tullfooter wrote:Posted By: 502Python
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 5:01pm
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"Men are not fat. Only fat women are fat." Peter Griffen, circa 2007 ------------- 1999 Sport Nautique-Python Powered 1999 Ski Nautique-Python Powered |
Posted By: Randy_in_Ohio
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 8:23pm
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What dessert makes a woman's a** the biggest? Wedding cake! ------------- http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=1602&yrstart=1991&yrend=1995" rel="nofollow - 1993 Sport Nautique |
Posted By: 86BFN
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 9:12pm
Thats the main food that kills their sex drive!  ------------- 👣 Steve http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=4057&sort=&pagenum=1&yrstart=1986&yrend=1986" rel="nofollow - 86 Barefoot Nautique 89 Martinique Former Owner: 93 Hydrodyne 350 MAG |
Posted By: peter1234
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 10:43pm
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oh my god thank you all lol ------------- former skylark owner now a formula but I cant let this place go |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 10:46pm
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im getting the silent treatment tonight for some reason ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: Riley
Date Posted: February-19-2010 at 11:20pm
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Some how this got flipped around 180 degrees.
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Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-21-2010 at 12:01pm
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sorry girls, Wives, havnt learned how to use spell check, no crutches here ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: DeepCreekNauti
Date Posted: February-21-2010 at 10:09pm
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My Grandfather gave me marital advice on my wedding day. He offered 2 pearls of wisdom for marriage that his father gave him.
1.) You can be right or you could be happy - which is more important. 2.) Happy wife equals happy life. I must admit it took me a few years to figure out number 1. Number 2 came around after I figured out number 1. |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-22-2010 at 9:51am
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a man could get hurt with that list posted on the fridge, especially when you circle the last one ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: 86BFN
Date Posted: February-24-2010 at 1:41pm
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Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly
Bubba says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.' Earl spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over - women like that are hard to find.' ------------- 👣 Steve http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=4057&sort=&pagenum=1&yrstart=1986&yrend=1986" rel="nofollow - 86 Barefoot Nautique 89 Martinique Former Owner: 93 Hydrodyne 350 MAG |
Posted By: 75 stang
Date Posted: February-24-2010 at 1:52pm
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Missing Maine Wife...
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident off the coast ofMaine ,a man answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers. "We know it's late, sir, but we have some information about your wife," saidone of the Troopers. "Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted. The Troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, the husband said "Give me the bad news first." The second Trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning wefound your wife's body in the bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The Trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her." Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???" The Trooper answered, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow". ------------- Take your work seriously, not yourself. http://s133.photobucket.com/albums/q70/Bigblockbandit/Lake%20and%20boats/ - Boat Pics |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-24-2010 at 4:41pm
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speaking of dumping bodies, the guy admitted to dumping Natalie Hallaways body in a swamp over there in Aruba, never did like the look of that guy, first impressions always hold true ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: pwningjr
Date Posted: March-07-2010 at 2:40am
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One of my buddies has a shirt that says "Missing wife and tractor, reward for tractor." (It's a little odd considering we're Juniors in HS, but still funny I think) ------------- Jay "Proud to be a geek" Big Heavy (stephan): One can't always be perfect when water dancing on your shred stick. |
Posted By: BuffaloBFN
Date Posted: March-07-2010 at 9:54am
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Two simple words that can save a man miles of grief..."yes dear".
Seriously, I think women are wonderful creatures; too bad they won't let us use the cages anymore! And shouldn't those 'universal' remotes work on... 
Curly had a great line in one of their old movies: "are you married or happy?". ------------- http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=2331&sort=&pagenum=12&yrstart=1986&yrend=1990" rel="nofollow - 1988 BFN-sold "It's a Livin' Thing...What a Terrible Thing to Lose" ELO |
Posted By: Morfoot
Date Posted: March-08-2010 at 8:32am
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Women - They don't belch, they don'fart, and they don't snore, therefore; they must bitch or else they might blow up!
------------- "Morfoot; He can ski. He can wakeboard.He can cook chicken.He can create his own self-named beverage, & can also apparently fly. A man of many talents."72 Mustang "Kermit",88 SN Miss Scarlett, 99 SN "Sherman" |
Posted By: OverMyHead
Date Posted: March-11-2010 at 9:50pm
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When I meet my future wife I knew she was Mrs.Right, only after we were married did I learn her first name was always! ------------- For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats. 1987 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: DrCC
Date Posted: March-14-2010 at 8:47pm
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This is probably old, but I swear it's a true story.
I told my wife that when she turns 40 I was going to trade her in for two twenties. She turned around and said: "You ain't wired for 220" |
Posted By: connorssons
Date Posted: March-14-2010 at 10:23pm
If thay didnt have a you know what? there would be a bounty on them.  girlfriend just walked in.
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Posted By: peter1234
Date Posted: March-14-2010 at 11:10pm
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not a wife story but i have a new girlfriend . we were sitting in my kitchen this weekend she wa smaking scampi. i saw my springer pup tossing something around in the air.turns out it was her brand new $600.00 glasses. no lenses left no ear cushions. and has never had a dog before . She laughed and said god he is so cute (puppy) is she a keeper? ------------- former skylark owner now a formula but I cant let this place go |
Posted By: jbear
Date Posted: March-15-2010 at 2:35am
Yes! Well at least the dog is. Had a Springer before Jo the TN wonder dog and Miss Mindy (the Springer) was the best dog ever. To be sure about the new girlfriend..we gotta see some pictures! john ------------- "Loud pipes save lives" AdamT sez "I'm Canadian and a beaver lover myself"... |
Posted By: connorssons
Date Posted: March-16-2010 at 6:22am
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If she is hot and can afford a 600 dollar pair of glasses she is a keeper! BTW does she have a sister
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Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: March-16-2010 at 9:39am
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Peter...when she becomes your Wife the tune will change, cause you would then have to purchse her 1200.00 glasses, and there aint no action guarentee either ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |