Oil change
Printed From: CorrectCraftFan.com
Category: General Correct Craft Discussion
Forum Name: Off Topic
Forum Discription: Anything non-Correct Craft
URL: http://www.CorrectCraftFan.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=25742
Printed Date: May-19-2024 at 7:17pm
Topic: Oil change
Posted By: Waterdog
Subject: Oil change
Date Posted: April-26-2012 at 2:43pm
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Prices outdated, but you get the idea....... Oil Change instructions for Women: 1. Pull up to GM Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change. 2. Drink a cup of coffee. 3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change:$24.00 Coffee: Complimentary TOTAL: $24.00 Oil Change instructions for Men: 1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,and use your debit card for $50.00. 2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home 3. Open a beer and drink it. 4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7. Place drain pan under engine. 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 9. Give up and use crescent wrench. 10. Unscrew drain plug. 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss. 12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13. Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.. 16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer. 17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 19. Remember drain plug from step 11. 20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 21. Drink beer. 22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer. 24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame. 25. Begin cussing fit. 26. Throw stupid crescent wrench. 27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent. 28. Beer. 29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow. 30. Beer. 31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 32. Beer. 33. Lower truck from jack stands. 34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missteps. 35. Beer. 36. Test drive truck. 37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 38. Truck gets impounded. 39. Call loving wife, make bail. 40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard. Money spent: Parts: $50.00 DUI: $2,500.00 Impound fee: $75.00 Bail: $1,500.00 Beer: $24.00 TOTAL: $4,149.00 But you know the job was done right! SEND THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH... AND TO ANY MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT... ------------- - waterdog - http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=3896&sort=&pagenum=2&yrstart=1978&yrend=1978" rel="nofollow - 78 Ski Tique |
Replies:
Posted By: Bri892001
Date Posted: April-26-2012 at 4:29pm
 Plus the cost of ruining whatever clothes you were wearing while doing the oil changes.My brother has this fancy oil pan with a dish at the top and a drain plug, so that you can take the whole pan when finished and dump it out at your oil recycling facility. Only problem is... you have to remember to open up the air vent or the little dish at the top very quickly fills with oil, overflows, and goes all over the driveway  My local Jeep Dealer was selling a package of 3 oil changes and two tire rotations for $75. Free coffee, TV, wireless, a whole cafe thing now, basically like a hotel lobby. Too good to pass up. |
Posted By: TRBenj
Date Posted: April-26-2012 at 5:16pm
Except when you go to change your oil yourself next time and find out they filled you 2 quarts shy with the wrong grade oil, had Konan the Barbarian install the filter, and in order go get the cross threaded drain plug tightened up, they used an impact wrench set to 200 ft-lbs! Oh, and btw, they cross threaded and overtightened your lug nuts too! I HATE working on cars that have been previously worked on at the dealer or quick-change oil places... simple tasks turn into huge headaches! Im convinced that they offer free coffee and other niceties in order to keep you from watching what theyre doing to your car. If and when I ever take my car in for any kind of inspection or service, I never take my eyes off it. ------------- |
Bri892001 wrote:Posted By: C-Bass
Date Posted: April-26-2012 at 5:35pm
 Tim nailed it there. The fact that I know it's done right is worth more than the time/money saved at a quick-lube place.------------- Craig 67 SN 73 SN http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=6103" rel="nofollow - 99 Sport 85SN |
Posted By: 8122pbrainard
Date Posted: April-26-2012 at 10:48pm
I was 16 when my mother asked me to run her Chrysler station wagen over to the gas station for a tire rotation. They put the "kid" at the station on the job. He starts on the left hand side and I go grab something to read. I hear the impact wrench going forever, I check and he's still on the left side. I asked him what was going on and was told the lug nuts were frozen. I walked over to the car, bent down and showed him the letter "L" on the end of the lug. The car wasn't finished till the next day when the real mechanic came in, pressed all the lug studs out of the drums and pressed new ones in!! How long ago did Chrysler get rid of the LH threads on the left side of their cars? ------------- /diaries/details.asp?ID=1622" rel="nofollow - 54 Atom /diaries/details.asp?ID=2179" rel="nofollow - 77 Tique 64 X55 Dunphy Keep it original, Pete < |
Posted By: lewy2001
Date Posted: April-26-2012 at 10:58pm
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In most Australian car dealerships the simple service jobs are normally given to the first year apprentice. I would rather change the oil and filter myself than pay somebody to practice on my car. ------------- If you're going through hell, keep going http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=2999" rel="nofollow - 89 Ski <a href="http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=5685" ta |
Posted By: GlassSeeker
Date Posted: April-27-2012 at 2:52am
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plus you get beer instead of coffee. ------------- This is the life |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: April-27-2012 at 8:55am
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I just cant get to the point in life to where I pay for an oil change, but that day is around the corner ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: Jllogan
Date Posted: April-27-2012 at 11:14am
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there is a castrol by my work that I can get an oil change with a coupon for 12.99. Cant beat that, also they are the ones who do it so if they screw it up, they will be fighting off not me. ------------- http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=5792&sort=&pagenum=1" rel="nofollow - 1986 Ski Nautique 2001 |
Posted By: FUN-9C1
Date Posted: April-27-2012 at 4:04pm
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Very entertaining post! Got a good chuckle out of it. I agree 100% with Tim, though on the quality of work at the dealer. I have no experience with quick-lube places, but when I needed warranty work done on my first (and last) new car (Chevy) I of course broght it to the dealer. I had never had dealer experience before that, but I now know that if you buy a Chiltons manual and spend 10 minutes reading it, you'll know more than most of the mechanics at the dealer about your car. I've also worked at some garages and some sneaky stuff goes on at some of them. On the rare occasions I bring a car to a garage, if they won't let me hang out in the bay with my car I go somewhere else. For oil changes it takes me less time to do it myself than to drive to a place and drive back. And I know what kind of oil, how much, and that the filter was really changed. That is funny, though, I'll have to pass that on. I think we've all experience at least SOME of the steps in the instructions for men. Especially 3, 6, 13, 21, 23, 28, 30, 32, & 35.  ------------- '86 2001 '50 Century Imperial Sportsman |
Posted By: BuffaloBFN
Date Posted: April-27-2012 at 10:53pm
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I almost hurt myself reading that list...good laugh! ------------- http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=2331&sort=&pagenum=12&yrstart=1986&yrend=1990" rel="nofollow - 1988 BFN-sold "It's a Livin' Thing...What a Terrible Thing to Lose" ELO |