wifes

I might think it...but it would never cross my lips.

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A Minnesota GIRL
The first cousin married a woman from Massachusetts . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second cousin married a woman from Florida . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Minnesota . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.


He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

and my wife wonders why I read this board

how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?? get your wife a shovel...

Don't forget the great memory they seem to have. During moments of disagreements, they always seem to bring up something you did like 25 years ago. Then, I can't even remember the incident!!!

and with the f

After you read that, you can understand why they call them "the good old days!".
I like the part where it says "his topics of conversation are more important than yours". I especially like where it says "don't complain... even if he stays out all night.
I would be content if my wife followed the rule, "Be happy to see him"
Man, am I glad my wife doesn't peruse this site.

"Men are not fat. Only fat women are fat." Peter Griffen, circa 2007

Randy_in_Ohio wrote:       Wedding cake!

Thats the main food that kills their sex drive!    

im getting the silent treatment tonight for some reason

sorry girls, Wives, havnt learned how to use spell check, no crutches here

a man could get hurt with that list posted on the fridge, especially when you circle the last one

Missing Maine Wife...

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident off the coast ofMaine ,a man answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers.

"We know it's late, sir, but we have some information about your wife," saidone of the Troopers.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.

The Troopers looked at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great

news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the husband said "Give me the bad news first."

The second Trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning wefound your wife's body in the bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The Trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her."

Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???"

The Trooper answered, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow".

One of my buddies has a shirt that says "Missing wife and tractor, reward for tractor." (It's a little odd considering we're Juniors in HS, but still funny I think)

Women - They don't belch, they don'fart, and they don't snore, therefore; they must bitch or else they might blow up!