For dog owners #2 |
Post Reply |
Author | |
87BFN owner
Grand Poobah Joined: August-25-2006 Location: Saline, MI Status: Offline Points: 2194 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Posted: February-09-2007 at 11:33am |
Boat doc, I with you on all of them except number 7 of pets don't. My dogs both love beer, if I am having one they both want a couple sips.
|
|
boat dr
Grand Poobah Joined: June-27-2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4245 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
|
Subject: Dog Rules
PET RULES (To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.) > >Dear Dogs > >The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other >dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in >the >middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food >and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. > >The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me >to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall >faster than you can run. > >I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about >this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your >comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It >is >not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the >fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and >having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but >sarcasm. > >For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some >miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not >necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under >the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I >entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline >attendance is not mandatory. > >The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I >cannot stress this enough! > >To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our >front door: > >To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets >1. They live here. You don't. >2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. >(That's why they call it "fur"niture.) >3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. >4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is >short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. > >Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: >1. Eat less >2. Don't ask for money >3. Are easier to train >4. Usually come when called >5. Never drive your car >6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends >7. Don't smoke or drink >8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions >9. Don't wear your clothes >10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and >11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children! |
|
Post Reply | |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |