2nd Story

Grandma in Mississippi Court

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I know you, Mr.Williams. I've known you since you were a little boy, and frankly, you have been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything moe than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I do know you.

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied,"Why yes I do. I've know Mr.Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."