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Waterdog
Grand Poobah Joined: April-27-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2020 |
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Posted: February-18-2010 at 6:26pm |
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A Retired US Marine named Doug was taking some college course between assignments. He had completed tours both in Somalia & Iraq. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes! The lecture room fell silent. You could an ant burp. Ten minutes went by and the professor taunted, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting! It got down to the last couple of minutes when Doug got out of his wheelchair sipping his Geritol spike with Gatorade And walked up to the professor, and threw an uppercut. It was a beauty! It came up from Mississippi, swept across Georgia And into the everglades of Florida, then shot straight up to Canada, knocking the professor out cold! The he went back To his wheelchair and sat silently. The other students were shocked and stunned, that an Old Marine Geyser like Doug still had it in him. It took those same 15 minutes for the professor to come to. He asked Doug, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that? Doug replied calmly, GOD was too busy today protecting America's Serviceman & woman who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me! The classroom erupted in cheers!! The moral of this story: If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks! The reason why most people can't find an opportunity is because it's normally disguised as hard work |
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jimsport93
Platinum Member Joined: February-20-2008 Location: Alpharetta Ga Status: Offline Points: 1750 |
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Sure do like those Marine stories.
My son is a Marine. Semper Fi! |
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hasbeenskier
Platinum Member Joined: May-23-2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1116 |
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Yeah, I like Marine stories too. But I love GOD stories.
bj |
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hasbeenskier
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Waterdog
Grand Poobah Joined: April-27-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2020 |
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I'm over 30 years now combined military and fedral service. My son and nephew are in Afganistan right now. These kind of take no crap + God morals give my peace in my soul that on a small level we Americans are doing the right thing.
I just love this line - " The reason why most people can't find an opportunity is because it's normally disguised as hard work." |
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Kristof
Grand Poobah Joined: October-08-2007 Location: Bree, Belgium Status: Offline Points: 3399 |
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The guys from our unit are leaving on 02/24, 02/26th and 03/01...
Too bad I can't go with them. Really wanted to do my part! But I'm on the roll for the next tour (somewhere in december). We'll see. It's just frustrating that my post has been cancelled due to budget cuts . My thoughts go out to all who are in harm's way over there and protecting our way of life... Dog, hope your son and nephew will return safely! |
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- Gun control means: using BOTH hands!
- Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
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Okie Boarder
Gold Member Joined: August-31-2009 Location: OK Status: Offline Points: 779 |
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That's a good one. I've seen it before, but never tire of seeing it again.
Fo sho! I like the one about the atheist college professor and the piece of chalk too. |
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Hawktique
Senior Member Joined: June-27-2009 Location: Iowa Status: Offline Points: 456 |
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Semper Fi
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"A Veteran is someone who at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to: 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life." Semper Fi
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Kristof
Grand Poobah Joined: October-08-2007 Location: Bree, Belgium Status: Offline Points: 3399 |
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Nice signature line there Josh...!
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- Gun control means: using BOTH hands!
- Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
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jbear
Grand Poobah Joined: January-21-2005 Location: Lake Wales FL. Status: Offline Points: 8193 |
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Just another reason to like and respect you bj... Sure was great to see you this weekend my friend. john |
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"Loud pipes save lives"
AdamT sez "I'm Canadian and a beaver lover myself"... |
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phospher
Gold Member Joined: July-19-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Funny, I have the upmost repsect for our service members but the God stories are a little far fetched. I wonder if god was naping when the Holocaust was taking place? And the balls to actually believe Jesus Christ who, as it turns out, was born of a virgin, cheated death, and rose bodily into the heavens—can now be eaten in the form of a cracker is just crazy.
If you were indoctrinated into this stuff as a kid I can see how you became brain washed but if your reborn or didn't become religious until you were an adult then there is no excuse. People, educated people, with college degrees believeing in this stuff... unreal. To think the earth has only existed for 6000 years.. I think Carlin summed it up pretty good... "But folks, I have to tell you, in the bullshiz department a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. Because when it comes to bullshiz, big-time, major leage bull, you have to stand in awe--in awe!!--of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. Religion--easily--has the Greates Bullshiz Story Ever Told! Think about it: religion has actually convinced people--many of them adults--that there's an invisible man who lives in the sky and watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And who has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to remain and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, till the end of time. But he loves you! He loves you, and he needs money! He always needs money. he's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, but somehow... he just can't handle money. Religion takes in billions of dollars, pays no taxes, and somehow always needs a little more. now, you talk about a good bullshiz story. Holy Shiz!" But I still love inboard boats! |
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Riley
Grand Poobah Joined: January-19-2004 Location: Portland, ME Status: Offline Points: 7954 |
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How to win friends...
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Waterdog
Grand Poobah Joined: April-27-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2020 |
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phospher,
I just said a Lords Prayer and a Hail Mary for ya.(a loud) For God is in My soul. This Great Nation is founded on religous values and many have given All so you can be free to say your will. Myself I'm not afraid to die. I don't want to, but kind of look forword to the other side.(the next great adventure) When it's your time will you have peace? |
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hasbeenskier
Platinum Member Joined: May-23-2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1116 |
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Phil,
I don't have all the answers and I am a miserable example to follow. At one time in my life I was the college educated thinker wanting to rely on no one but myself and my abilities. I felt the same way you do now. Things have changed in my life and all I can do is have FAITH that the GIFT of forgivness and everlasting life is true. I used to like George Carlin and was very aware of his views on religion. I have wondered many times what his view point is now...that he is dead. bj |
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hasbeenskier
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critter
Platinum Member Joined: January-11-2008 Location: New Hill, NC Status: Offline Points: 1227 |
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Phil, does not really matter what you believe in.. I just hope that you believe in something that will help you to get up each morning and justify the good and the bad you experience each day.
Seems when folks fail to believe in something, they do not appear as happy to me. I am happy that you and I are both here today and hopefully tomorrow as well. |
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1980 Ski Nautique
1966 Barracuda |
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Kristof
Grand Poobah Joined: October-08-2007 Location: Bree, Belgium Status: Offline Points: 3399 |
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Well said Critter.
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- Gun control means: using BOTH hands!
- Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
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phospher
Gold Member Joined: July-19-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Could you give me more detail here because the U.S. Constitution does not contain a single mention of God that I've been able to find. Furthermore, contrary to popular belief the founding fathers were not Christians. They were deists who did not believe the bible was true. "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." (Article 6, section 3) They wanted to ensure that no single religion could make the claim of being the official national religion. But in the 50's the Christians managed to get "In God We Trust" inscribed on the currency. This was a direct violation of the first amendment.
Actually, this is a reason why people are Christian. They are afraid to die and need to feel like there is more after life. You see it's a crutch.
Ummmm, I'm dead I won't have anything.
I'm well past college age.
Faith is nothing more than the license religious people give one another to keep believing when reasons fail.
I can respect that Critter. I am happily married, with a family and successful career and I enjoy life. That is more than enough to keep me going. Riddle me this, If I tell a devout Christian that his wife is cheating on him or that I have the best boat in the world you would likely require as much evidence as possible. But if you tell him that the book he keeps by his bed was written by an invisible man he seems to require no evidence what so ever. Why is this? Why does religion always get a pass? |
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Hawktique
Senior Member Joined: June-27-2009 Location: Iowa Status: Offline Points: 456 |
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I myself am not a religious person by any means. I believe in what I believe in. I will not, however, ever debate someone else in their beliefs. It's a simple respect issue for me. Every person is entitled to do as they please, until it directly imposes on my freedoms. Then and only then, will I stand my ground, and eliminate my threat!
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"A Veteran is someone who at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to: 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life." Semper Fi
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phospher
Gold Member Joined: July-19-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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I hear ya Hawktique but when I read all this God stuff It's like they are pushing THEIR god beliefs on people who read this forum and someone needs to call them out...I know religious views are taboo, and not to be spoken about shhhh.
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Riley
Grand Poobah Joined: January-19-2004 Location: Portland, ME Status: Offline Points: 7954 |
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Someone starts an off topic thread that mentions God and you find it neccesary to "call them out" and post your beliefs and debate Christianity? Perhaps you should start your own thread for that debate?
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phospher
Gold Member Joined: July-19-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Riley,
Precisely. Someone starts an off topic thread telling me about how god sent a man to punch him in the jaw. Then someone replies how he loves god stories. Seems like a perfect time and place to me. It is in the off-topic section right? If people post about the powers of God I'll be the one to call a spade a spade. |
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Riley
Grand Poobah Joined: January-19-2004 Location: Portland, ME Status: Offline Points: 7954 |
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You must enjoy argueing and not worry about insulting people.
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WakeSlayer
Grand Poobah Joined: March-15-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2138 |
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Religion, politics, and child rearing.....
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Mike N
1968 Mustang |
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Okie Boarder
Gold Member Joined: August-31-2009 Location: OK Status: Offline Points: 779 |
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I'll take a stab at this one. Sometimes a person doesn't need proof to believe something and sometimes they do. "Proof" can also come in many forms. As far as those that believe in what the Bible says, you will find it contains both. Some things in the Bible have evidence to back them up and some don't. Someone in the thread mentioned Jesus and his resurrection. That is one thing in the Bible that has evidence to back it up, along with eyewitness accounts. Put that in today's context. Let's say you flipped on the news to a live report at a funeral home. The camera zooms in on an empty casket. They claim a man rose from the dead during his funeral. They interview many people that witnessed the event. However, the man is nowhere to be found right now. Witnesses state that he left the location to go visit others. Would you believe it or do you have to see the man for yourself? If that happened 100 years ago and you are right now reading the news story on the internet, does it change your view on whether you believe it? I'll throw a question back... Do you believe we landed on the moon? |
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phospher
Gold Member Joined: July-19-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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Yes, I happen to believe this as it's a well documented and recorded by the scientific community. By critical thinkers and people who demand real evidence. Though I know there are also a lot of stories that say this isn't true. |
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Kristof
Grand Poobah Joined: October-08-2007 Location: Bree, Belgium Status: Offline Points: 3399 |
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Yet another well put comment! |
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- Gun control means: using BOTH hands!
- Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
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Okie Boarder
Gold Member Joined: August-31-2009 Location: OK Status: Offline Points: 779 |
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Yep, there are skeptics, for sure. The point here is that you believe it based upon the account of others and the evidence they have presented. You did not personally witness it. The account of Jesus' death and resurrection is well documented, and not just in the Bible. There was also a very deliberate intent by Him to ensure He was seen by a large number and type of people. Very similar situations. It would be difficult for me to understand why a person could believe one but not the other. If you want to see evidence of other Biblical events, simple google searching will send you in the right direction. If you really want examples from me that you can research further, I'd be happy to point you in the right direction. |
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phospher
Gold Member Joined: July-19-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 557 |
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That's part of the problem. You can't seem to differentiate real evidence.
As far as evidence for the moon.... "There is a lot of evidence that has been in the public domain for over 30 years now. in the form of photographs, images of spacecraft taken by astronauts in other spacecraft as well as images of the spacecraft heading towards the moon by telescope from the Earth, video records broadcast in real-time and seen in real-time, scientific experiments placed on the moon (whose placement was clearly documented by the lunar photography including still photography by the astronauts and video images transmitted in real-time), moonrocks and samples returned from the surface of the moon which support the supposition that they resided on the Moon (by examining the chemical makeup of the rocks, isotopic abundances, cosmic ray exposure ages, radioactive dating techniques, etc.), and by the astronauts themselves both in situ on the lunar surface and after their return to Earth." Can you see the difference? Again, there is absolutely no evidence for the existence of God. When you mention biblical events that is nothing more than cherry picking the bible. Do you know how many religions there are? A lot, and people who believe in them more so than yourself. If you were a Vegas man you wouldn't bet on your religion being right based on odds alone. |
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Waterdog
Grand Poobah Joined: April-27-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2020 |
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It's just a story, nothing more nothing less. Phospher you seem like a numbers guy, what percent of America has some sort of religous belief and what precent are non believers ? This is NOT ment to offend but sure got some people's blood pressure up. I'm no holly roller by any means. I think I know a good story that's worth passing on - well maybe not.
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phospher
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If I recall correctly from a recent poll it's 92% of Americans that believe in a God. I think two main reasons it's that high is because people indoctrinate their children into this stuff before they are old enough to think and make decisions for them selves. And also because no one questions it and it's widely considered taboo to even question someones religious beliefs.
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Okie Boarder
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<sigh>
I really don't want to get into a long drawn out debate with you about this. I agree with this...
BUT...I will say this... You're actually changing the subject here to fit what you want. I never said there is evidence of the existence of God, per se. My point is there is evidence of many things stated in the Bible, including the example of Jesus' crucifiction and resurrection. The evidence is out there and much of the recent evidence has been discovered and documented by the scientific community. In my mind, seeing that many things in the Bible have evidence to support them allows me to reasonably conclude that the other items without evidence are probably true too. Eventhough I don't have tangible proof I can hand you that you will believe, I happen to believe God exists. I think it is pretty hard to deny just looking around at the wonders around us. Thinking that all happened by chance and something is not in control of that seems far fetched to me. Anyhow, in the end, you asked a question and I answered. I gave an example of evidence and there is more out there if you want to find it. It's your own personal choice what you choose to believe and why you choose to believe it. I know I am at peace with what I believe and I would bet my life on the fact I am correct, which in a sense I do, by being a Christian. If I'm wrong and there is no God, I will die and that will be the end of it. If I'm right, well I can't even imagine how wonderful Heaven is going to be and I'll be glad I believed it. If you're at peace with what you believe, then that's all that really matters. Ultimately we each make that choice on our own. |
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