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"The" Talk...

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Okie Boarder View Drop Down
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    Posted: October-08-2010 at 7:37pm
So, I'm sure many of you have kids that are a little older and many that have younger ones. I've been thinking for a while about having the talk about sex and open the line of communication with my oldest son. Last night, there was a good opportunity, so I took it. My wife and I both talked to him, and we feel like it went well. I'm curious about what type of things you have included in the talk or what things you plan to if you haven't done it yet.

I spent time asking some open ended question with him about what he thought sex was. I also asked him what he thought the purpose was and what it means. I told him how it works (mechanics), and what the potential outcome could be. I also made sure he understood that anything he wanted to talk about or had questions about, he can always come to me.

Like I said, I think it went well and was one of those parenting moments that will leave a lasting impression...probably on him as much as me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OverMyHead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-08-2010 at 9:48pm
I had many small talks along the way. I know he knew most of the mechanics or coulod find out . I talked alot about repect, what type of man he wanted to be, and that if he cares about someone it becomes his job to protect her.....even if it is from himself.
For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tullfooter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-09-2010 at 11:29am
I remember "the talk" with my oldest when he was around 12 years old. We had a great book that my wife had gotten, which helped start the talk. One thing I'll never forget is when we asked him what he knew about sex, his answer was " you know, like boobs and stuff". We then asked him where he learned it, he said "from Anthony", his best buddy who happened to have an older brother. Go figure.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Morfoot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-09-2010 at 11:41am
Guess it's different for guy's who have daughters as I haven't even approached that one yet. My girls (15 & 12) have a book that they've both read that talks about "changes" in their body and stuff. I've kinda left the "talk" up to their mom seeing as how they live with her. Even if I discuss whether or not I need to pick up some feminine products for them to have here while at dads is a touchy and embarrassing subject for them. It took a while but the 15 yr old has finally gotten past it a bit and when she say's.... "Dad, we need to go the store." I know what's up and we go, no questions asked. That's as far as we've ever gotten. Any other Dad's with Daughter's crossed this one?
"Morfoot; He can ski. He can wakeboard.He can cook chicken.He can create his own self-named beverage, & can also apparently fly. A man of many talents."72 Mustang "Kermit",88 SN Miss Scarlett, 99 SN "Sherman"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NAUTI84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-09-2010 at 10:01pm
Originally posted by Morfoot Morfoot wrote:

Any other Dad's with Daughter's crossed this one?


Tim,
17 & 14 girlies here!
PULLING MY HAIR OUT!
Here's a tip -
My wife and became licensed foster parents last year.
We're now on our 2nd baby.
Came to us at 3 weeks old. Now almost 5 mo.'s.(First one was with us from 3 mo.'s to 6 mo.'s.)
BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER FOR THE GIRLS!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eric lavine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-10-2010 at 10:56am
lol, I find myself telling my daughter that i dont want her playing with boys over here, stay out of the bedroom, and on the other hand I razz the boy about pretty girls, always asking him if he thinks "she" is pretty....maybe in some deep dark corner of the brain im checking the gadar
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Okie Boarder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-10-2010 at 3:46pm
Dave,

I liked that aspect too. I think I'll add that to subsequent talks when he shows more of an interest in a particular girl.

Steve,

What is the name of the book.

So, eric, you're concerned about your son but not your daughter as far as the gadar is concerned? ;-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eric lavine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-11-2010 at 9:17am
double standard, to tell you the truth, I never was concerned about the daughter ever going that way, or the boy, just making sure there are no surprises later on. I think genetics are kicking in by spreading the seed
"the things you own will start to own you"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eric lavine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-11-2010 at 9:22am
I remember a comedian, he said it pretty good about the first time he MB'd, it took him a while to figure it out and when he reached the top of the mountain it scared the sht out of him...he said you know, i was back in the bathroom 10 minutes later doing it again,
I think in cases like this nature will fill in the gaps
"the things you own will start to own you"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dreaming Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-11-2010 at 6:57pm
Good for you Okie.... if you don't talk with your kids about the hard issues, they will find out other ways; either by being taken advantage of, or locker rooms etc.... no telling what kind of stupid gets spread in locker rooms :) I have a lot of respect for guys that take the time to teach their kids about being responsible. I think they will respect you for it too... even if it's awkward in the beginning. Mine are 1.5yrs and 3.5 yrs, so I have a little while, but there will come a time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote WakeSlayer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October-14-2010 at 4:29pm
Wile I generally include parenting with politics and religion on things to not discuss....

I think the most important thing is to be honest when it comes up. Preferably earlier than later for this topic. Kids develop younger now, and then there is the internet, cable (hell, even regular TV) their stupid cell phones, sexting, etc.   

Don't get caught late. Times aren't like they were when we were kids.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote skutsch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November-05-2010 at 4:16pm
Just ran across this. It's a good topic. At the Kutsch house (all daughters), we are pretty much following the same strategy as Tim (Morfoot) but we started at about 10, now on daughter number 2. Another thing we found that helped, was my wife found a class at the local hospital where they spent an evening going through all the "biological" stuff. My wife makes it a special "girls night" they go grab dinner and then hit the class. I thought that was a nice touch.
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