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Men are happier

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Waterdog View Drop Down
Grand Poobah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Waterdog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Men are happier
    Posted: July-14-2008 at 10:19am

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
- waterdog -

78 Ski Tique

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hasbeenskier View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hasbeenskier Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July-15-2008 at 10:12am
NAILED IT
hasbeenskier
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azeus17 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote azeus17 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July-15-2008 at 10:27am
Funny Stuff!
Boats:
Current: 02 SANTE
Sold: 89 Sport Nautique
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Randy_in_Ohio View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Randy_in_Ohio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July-15-2008 at 4:06pm
Funny!

Want to find out who loves you more, your dog or your wife??

Leave them both in the car with the windows rolled down about an inch and go into your favorite bar and have a few drinks with your friends.

Who is happier to see you when you return???



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eric lavine View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eric lavine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July-15-2008 at 5:09pm
on one of them though you may want to leave the windows closed
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