Why I Owe My Mother. |
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OverMyHead
Grand Poobah Joined: March-14-2008 Location: MN Status: Offline Points: 4861 |
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Posted: May-12-2013 at 11:59am |
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC . "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY . "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ... "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS . "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!! But, there is one missing from this list . . . . My personal all time favorite!! My mother taught me about CHOICE . "Do you want me to stop this car?" Happy Mothers day to all Moms out there. |
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For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats.
1987 Ski Nautique |
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kytom2
Gold Member Joined: July-25-2007 Location: Maysville Ky Status: Offline Points: 698 |
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And all these years I thought I was an only child. Where did she keep you hidden? I heard those very same things lots of times!
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Kristof
Grand Poobah Joined: October-08-2007 Location: Bree, Belgium Status: Offline Points: 3400 |
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Great post!
Braught back some memories |
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- Gun control means: using BOTH hands!
- Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
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