Spouse 911

This might be fun. On a regular basis while at work I receive calls from my lovely wife where I am expected act as a 911 operator and expert advising on emergency situations and assigning resources. past calls included overflowing toilets. diagnosing a phase being out to our homes electricity (Only half the house did not work). And from my practice wife "Your son had a bike accident. He knocked his front teeth out by the roots, and can not remember what happened. Do I go to the ER or the dentist?" (Answer: Put the teeth in milk to preserve them for re-insertion and go to the ER)

Yesterdays call:

"The curling Iron fell into the toilet and it is still plugged in, what do I do?"

I know its a ground fault outlet in a daisy chain (but I also know I wired it!)

My advice was that "As long as you don't touch the toilet water you should be OK" (good advice at any time really). Followed up with "If you don't trust me you can use a wooden broom handle to yank the cord from the outlet" (I bet she used the broom).

Please share your stories!

ny_nautique wrote: I have personally clogged a toilet precisely ZERO times.

Wow, you must really be full of Sh!# then, LOL

Dave, your a good guy, betting lots of married guys who would have encouraged momma to reach in the toilet and grab it, lol

quinner wrote: Dave, your a good guy, betting lots of married guys who would have encouraged momma to reach in the toilet and grab it, lol

Your always thinking outside the box.

the phone calls start out that way Dave, wait till she starts calling you Armando

I sold a utility vehicle to Chevy Chase years ago. On delivery day, I stood in the front hall watching him dash back and forth with towels and a plunger. His wife laughed and said, "You'll have to wait, we've got a plugged toilet".

It seems no one is immune from plunger duty.

The wife decided to drive the 1983 Monte Carlo SS about 4 months after I had gotten it. I'd just found me some white letter tires that had SS on them. She goes to Barnes and Nobles to get some Starbucks and look around. She calls not 5 minutes later--- You have a Flat tire on the car! Well it wasn't flat when you left here-- Oh- it's because I ran over something in the road and now it's making a clanging sound.
I still had the 1973 Chevelle SS- so I put the small air compressor and tire plugging kit in there and take off.
When I get there- I literally see something sticking out of the tire. Upon closer examination- it's a Wrench! Upon pulling it out- boxed in part was sticking out and hitting on every revolution of the tire- but the open end had went through the tire.
Well it was a Craftsman 8 MM wrench    Well- I had just bought a set of Metric wrenches- Craftsman- because of the new 1992 Nissan Sentra we had gotten for her car. You guys know how it skips some sizes-and I also had a few other wrenches I'd bought when needed. Well- she knew my tools very well- I usually would get her out there to help work on something and get her to hand me tools. She knew I didn't have an 8 mm wrench- so she says-- I picked you one up But it's in the TIRE !! It took about 6 plugs to plug it up-- I went to SEARS- took that 8 mm wrench and told them I needed a new one. The guy looked at it and said- what have you been doing dragging it behind the car-- I kinda said no- it fell out of the trailer and other cars ran over it before I could get it picked up. He gave me a new one- and to this day- I've only used that wrench maybe 3 times....

I have heard the Sears isn't replacing tools like they did back in the "old days". Of course I HATE the junk they sell so I do not have hardly any Crapsmans tools. China junk!!

I have become my wife's sexual adviser.     Just this morning she said to me " If I want your f#&@ing advise, I'll ask for it!"