Mugger

CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,

Too bad more things like this don't happen to the people who choose to steal from others. I would imagine there would be a lot less of these things happened.

It really is a sad thing to say that it's better off to kill your attacker than it is to injure him. It's a funny world where it's better for you to kill someone than to protect yourself and be moral and not kill them.

But that's what you get when you have lawyers who can sleep at night knowing they represented someone who they know was guilty but just try to win the case for the $$ and chances at making partner in law firms.

The first thing they tell you in most CCW classes is you don't pull your weapon unless you plan on shooting to kill. Anything less and you are just putting yourself in a bad position. Along with your right to carry comes great responsibility and even greater judgement.
When I am carrying I am more careful not to put myself in bad situations to begin with.

Exactly Bret. Why get yourself into anything or any place you shouldn't be. I get mad at things but am generally non confrontational because its just not worth it.

But as far as I am concerned anyone entering your house by force without permission should expect to be shot. We have had a string of home invasions with multiple armed people in Indy in the past few weeks. I don't like it and I told my roomates if you hear anything that sounds like a break in don't come out of your room because mine is the first room in the line of someone coming in the front or back and my room is where the loaded guns live.

The guys around here have been making fathers stay in bed in gun point while mothers and daughters are used to go get money and then sexually assaulted and sometimes shot.

Un acceptable and as far as I am concerned if you do things like that you do not deserve to live in the same universe as normal people. So shooting to kill would be on my agenda for people like this especially if I was a father and had a wife and kids at home with things like this happening locally.

Fake but funny. Hopefully the criminals don't know about snopes!