In my 50s |
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Waterdog
Grand Poobah Joined: April-27-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2020 |
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Posted: September-18-2008 at 11:14am |
AGING
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever You are hot and sweaty.... Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit: shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following: In your 20s: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know -- you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30s: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick, so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40s: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty, so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age, and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50s: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror, and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming, and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms'. In your 60s: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out of the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you are not sure. In your 70s: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather. In your 80s: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. (Classic!) You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. |
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NEDLUTZ
Groupie Joined: November-26-2007 Location: Seekonk Ma. Status: Offline Points: 69 |
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DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...? All the girls had ugly gym uniforms? It took five minutes for the TV warm up? Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school? Nobody owned a purebred dog? When a quarter was a decent allowance? You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny? Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces? All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels? You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot? Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box? It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents? They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . . and they did? When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady? No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked? Lying on your back in the grass with your friends? and saying things like, 'That cloud looks like a... '? Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game? Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger? And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace? Share it with the children of today. When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home? Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bi gger threat! But we survived because their love was greater than the threat. Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery, the LoneRanger, The Shadow Knows,Nellie Bell , Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk. . ..as well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar. Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, 'Yeah, I remember that'? I am sharing this with you today because it ended with a double dog dare to pass it on. To remember what a double dog dare is, read on. And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care. How many of these do you remember? Candy cigarettes Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes. Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers. < /FONT> Newsreels before the movie. P.F. Fliers. Telephone numbers with a word prefix...(Raymond 4-601). Party lines. Peashooters. Howdy Dowdy. Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records. 78 RPM records! Green Stamps. Mimeograph paper. The Fort Apache Play Set. Do you remember a t ime when... Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'? Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, 'Do Over!'? 'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest? Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening? It wasn't odd to have two or three 'Best Friends'? The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was 'cooties'? Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot? Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures? 'Oly-oly-oxen-free' made perfect sense? Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team? War was a card game? Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle? Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin? Water balloons were the ultimate weapon? If you can remember most or all of t hese, then you have lived!!!!!!! |
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SNobsessed
Grand Poobah Joined: October-21-2007 Location: IA Status: Offline Points: 7102 |
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Anybody remember Tom Terrific? He was my super hero.
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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
Ben Franklin |
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critter
Platinum Member Joined: January-11-2008 Location: New Hill, NC Status: Offline Points: 1227 |
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How about Roger Ramjet... He's our man.. At least he was in 1965.
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1980 Ski Nautique
1966 Barracuda |
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SNobsessed
Grand Poobah Joined: October-21-2007 Location: IA Status: Offline Points: 7102 |
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Tom vs Roger - Now that's a showdown
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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
Ben Franklin |
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OM45GE
Senior Member Joined: September-07-2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 109 |
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Man I'm feeling old.
Must be time for a quick run on the river! |
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1989 SN 2001
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