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Waterdog
Grand Poobah Joined: April-27-2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2020 |
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Posted: November-06-2013 at 7:49am |
CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again). After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi, |
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Kristof
Grand Poobah Joined: October-08-2007 Location: Bree, Belgium Status: Offline Points: 3400 |
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Brilliant!!!
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- Gun control means: using BOTH hands!
- Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
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phatsat67
Grand Poobah Joined: March-13-2006 Location: Indiana Status: Offline Points: 6157 |
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Too bad more things like this don't happen to the people who choose to steal from others. I would imagine there would be a lot less of these things happened.
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jbach
Senior Member Joined: September-24-2012 Location: Kentucky Status: Offline Points: 140 |
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fantastic story. only thing that would've made it better would be the mugger suck starting that pistol.
can't blame him, i've always heard that it'll cost you 50K to defend yourself if you ever need to use that CC permit. much more if you don't make sure there's only one side of the story in court. |
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phatsat67
Grand Poobah Joined: March-13-2006 Location: Indiana Status: Offline Points: 6157 |
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It really is a sad thing to say that it's better off to kill your attacker than it is to injure him. It's a funny world where it's better for you to kill someone than to protect yourself and be moral and not kill them.
But that's what you get when you have lawyers who can sleep at night knowing they represented someone who they know was guilty but just try to win the case for the $$ and chances at making partner in law firms. |
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MI-nick
Gold Member Joined: January-12-2009 Location: Ypsilanti, MI Status: Offline Points: 815 |
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to legally use deadly force in a self defense shooting situation, you must (in MI at least) believe that a potentially fatal attack is imminent. In which case, you should shoot to stop the attack (i.e. as many shots as necessary to "center of mass"). if you try to shoot someone in the leg or other injury type shot, your credibility regarding the "imminent threat" will be severely compromised...and you will likely find yourself if a trevon martin type case.
while i applaud the brand of vigilante justice described in the original post, I think the marine would be found guilty of multiple crimes... |
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As far as I can tell, I'm not quite sure...
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bhectus
Platinum Member Joined: July-04-2010 Location: Gator Country! Status: Offline Points: 1809 |
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The first thing they tell you in most CCW classes is you don't pull your weapon unless you plan on shooting to kill. Anything less and you are just putting yourself in a bad position. Along with your right to carry comes great responsibility and even greater judgement.
When I am carrying I am more careful not to put myself in bad situations to begin with. |
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Hansel
Senior Member Joined: September-21-2006 Location: Twin Cities, MN Status: Offline Points: 415 |
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Nick and Bret are spot-on as far as I understand things.
After reading halfway through the account I was pretty sure it was fake. It does not pass the "smell test" because it is simply so over the top. So I just ran the title line "To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last" through my favorite search engine, and what do you know; according to Snopes it is a fake that has been circulated for four years. Now, they don't give any outside documentation to the evidence that it is false, but they do say that it has popped up in a number of cities and it even has a South African version. Pure baloney. Don't even think about acting like the fake idiot in this story, or the joke will be on you. |
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phatsat67
Grand Poobah Joined: March-13-2006 Location: Indiana Status: Offline Points: 6157 |
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Exactly Bret. Why get yourself into anything or any place you shouldn't be. I get mad at things but am generally non confrontational because its just not worth it.
But as far as I am concerned anyone entering your house by force without permission should expect to be shot. We have had a string of home invasions with multiple armed people in Indy in the past few weeks. I don't like it and I told my roomates if you hear anything that sounds like a break in don't come out of your room because mine is the first room in the line of someone coming in the front or back and my room is where the loaded guns live. The guys around here have been making fathers stay in bed in gun point while mothers and daughters are used to go get money and then sexually assaulted and sometimes shot. Un acceptable and as far as I am concerned if you do things like that you do not deserve to live in the same universe as normal people. So shooting to kill would be on my agenda for people like this especially if I was a father and had a wife and kids at home with things like this happening locally. |
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74Wind
Grand Poobah Joined: August-02-2011 Location: Georgia Status: Offline Points: 2101 |
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I too thought it was a fake when i read it yesterday. He lost me at using the crooks credit card to fill everyone's tank....even if the crook indeed had a card, to use it would be sheer idiocy.
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OverMyHead
Grand Poobah Joined: March-14-2008 Location: MN Status: Offline Points: 4861 |
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Fake but funny. Hopefully the criminals don't know about snopes!
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For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats.
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