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Some true ,some not , All funny

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Waterdog View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Waterdog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Some true ,some not , All funny
    Posted: January-09-2007 at 6:56am
     
          >Subject: FW: 3 Dictionaries
          >
          >
          >LOL.. Some of this is true but not everything...
          >
          >
          >
          >DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
          >
          >40-ish................................49.
          >
          >Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
          >
          >Athletic...............................No breasts.
          >
          >Average looking....................Moooo.
          >
          >Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
          >
          >Emotionally Secure................On medication.
          >
          >Feminist................................Fat.
          >
          >Free spirit............................Junkie.
          >
          >Friendship first......................Former slut.
          >
          >New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
          >
          >Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.
          >
          >Open-minded .......................Desperate.
          >
          >Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarra$$ing.
          >
          >Professional..........................Bitch.
          >
          >Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
          >
          >Large frame...........................Hugely Fat.
          >
          >Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
          >
          >1. Yes = No
          >
          >2. No = Yes
          >
          >3. Maybe = No
          >
          >4. We need = I want
          >
          >5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
          >
          >6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
          >
          >7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
          >
          >8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
          >
          >9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
          >
          >10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
          >about?
          >
          >
          >
          >DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGL ISH:
          >
          >1. I am hungry = I am hungry
          >
          >2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
          >
          >3. I am tired = I am tired
          >
          >4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
          >
          >5. I love you = Let's have sex now
          >
          >6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
          >
          >7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
          >
          >8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
          >
          >9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
          >
          >10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
          >
          >11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.
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hasbeenskier View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hasbeenskier Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-09-2007 at 7:37am
Okay... I am trying to find the one that are not true.
hasbeenskier
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hollywood Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-09-2007 at 9:48am
too funny
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todicus View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote todicus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-09-2007 at 12:08pm
I just copied that to an e-mail to my wife........ it has me pegged.
Living outside the wake
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MaddMarxx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MaddMarxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-09-2007 at 3:02pm
Thats great...I think its all true!!
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Munday View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Munday Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-09-2007 at 8:02pm
true ,I'd also add it ain't the jeans that make our but look fat.

Munday
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 05 210 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-09-2007 at 9:42pm
   Looks to be legit to me.The truth hurts,but it's still the truth.

    Mike
Air Nautique 210 Team

640 hours, not 1 regret
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Grand Poobah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 87BFN owner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-10-2007 at 2:56am
looks right to me
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote backfoot100 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-10-2007 at 10:01am
I had to forward this to Mrs. Backfoot.

Her response:
Funny but a bit derogative toward women. You shouldn't be like that.
Have a nice Hump Day!!!!

My response:
Have a nice Hump Day! = I'd like to have sex with you.

I haven't gotten a response yet. Go figure.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote todicus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-10-2007 at 12:26pm
When I got home last night from work, I asked my wife if she saw the e-mail I sent her......... she responded with "don't you have work to do during the day........not all men think like that...........you need to help me more around the house.............I'm tired". Needless to say it was freezing cold last night.

I hate the cold.
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Waterdog View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Waterdog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-10-2007 at 2:43pm
I'm tired = Not a chance in hell
Have a nice hump day = Sports center hi-lite
- waterdog -

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KPNautique Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January-10-2007 at 3:22pm
I'd say its accurate.

Sent it to wife - she couldn't disagree

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