The Lighter Side
Printed From: CorrectCraftFan.com
Category: General Correct Craft Discussion
Forum Name: Off Topic
Forum Discription: Anything non-Correct Craft
URL: http://www.CorrectCraftFan.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11339
Printed Date: December-28-2024 at 6:35am
Topic: The Lighter Side
Posted By: boat dr
Subject: The Lighter Side
Date Posted: July-23-2008 at 8:49pm
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New York City Report Cards
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York Citypublic school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!! ! 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7. This child has been working with glue too much. 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others. 12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead. These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: 16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.' 15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.' 14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.' 13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' 12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' 11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?' 10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to th e shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?' 9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket..' 8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?' 7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.' 6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.' 5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.' 4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?' 3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.' 2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.' AND THE WINNER IS.... 1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here . And you guys wonder why Karen and I live in the South.............. ------------- boat dr /diaries/details.asp?ID=4631 - 1949 Dart /diaries/details.asp?ID=1533 - 1964 American Skier |
Replies:
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: July-24-2008 at 5:55am
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There is nothing like starting the day with a nice coffee and a good laugh!
Thanks Doc! ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
Posted By: BuffaloBFN
Date Posted: July-24-2008 at 9:28am
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That is good Billy!
Except that they are 'Government Schools' ?!!?  ------------- http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=2331&sort=&pagenum=12&yrstart=1986&yrend=1990" rel="nofollow - 1988 BFN-sold "It's a Livin' Thing...What a Terrible Thing to Lose" ELO |
Posted By: OM45GE
Date Posted: July-24-2008 at 10:55am
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Thanks for the smile on a rainy Thursday!
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