tryin to deal
Printed From: CorrectCraftFan.com
Category: General Correct Craft Discussion
Forum Name: Off Topic
Forum Discription: Anything non-Correct Craft
URL: http://www.CorrectCraftFan.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20246
Printed Date: January-11-2025 at 6:48am
Topic: tryin to deal
Posted By: eric lavine
Subject: tryin to deal
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 10:12am
|
a life long friend of mine passed, I considered him a brother, Im very dis heartened dealing with the long lost cousins. I sat with my friend 2 years ago and we did the "if I ever should die thing" all written out in a final wish planner.
It took all i had to go into the his apartment after he laid for 7 days in there to search for a will which apparently there is not one. he grew very fond of my children and ate at my house 2 or 3 times a week. obviously I took off work on Tuesday to start arrangements, he was an only child with no close family and he considered my family his family. Well, the body still at the county morgue on a slab awaiting burial. in the planer he wanted me to be executor and i knew what to do with all of his pocessions...... no will, so in steps the long lost cousin, He is doing the planning, shipping him back to PA and he will fing a cheap casket, Im also talking to the guy and he asks if i could empty the apartment so he doesnt have to travel, but he wants to me to box up anything of value and ship it to him, did'nt he just buy a new tv he asked? mf. and then, Can you go get his truck out of impound and store it at your house until I can come get it? I told him in the planner not that i really care that if he should ever pass the truck would go to me...his reply, he really didnt know what he was doing when he filled that out.. The disheartening part, he had everything laid out on the funeral arrangements and how i should pay for it and i feel i have a moral obligation to follow thru, but in steps the cousin. "the cousin" is circling above and knew his finacial status, and he is the first of kin, wouldnt you know it, such a good volunteer. now the good part, I went to his bank upon his instructions, God rest his soul, he left everything to my children, I have a feeling i will be making his final arrangements once again. moral of the story, get a will ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Replies:
Posted By: 65 'cuda
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 11:00am
|
Eric,
I'm sorry for your loss, your family and his will be in my prayers. ------------- Gary http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=941" rel="nofollow - 1965 Barracuda SS |
Posted By: thatdude596
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 11:39am
| sorry to hear that buddy, hope all goes as planned and well. hang it there it gets better. tell that cousin to go f- himself, seems hes a vulture, looking for a free meal. |
Posted By: 63 Skier
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 11:41am
|
Terrible news, and the situation you find yourself in is only making it worse. All you can do is your best to honor his wishes, if the cousin makes that difficult or impossible it won't be your fault. My guess is once he finds out your friend took care of where his money is going he'll disappear, or maybe take the truck and the TV and disappear.
Good luck with all this. ------------- '63 American Skier - '98 Sport Nautique |
Posted By: storm34
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 1:51pm
|
Terrible news Eric, sorry for your loss and sticky situation. I hope everything comes out well and you can follow through with your friend's wishes. ------------- |
Posted By: Morfoot
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 2:58pm
|
Thanks for sharing this with us Eric. Anyone reading this can tell that he was like a brother to you. Best of luck with this one my friend and keep us posted as to the outcome. I've got my fingers crossed, and I'll be praying for you and your family. ------------- "Morfoot; He can ski. He can wakeboard.He can cook chicken.He can create his own self-named beverage, & can also apparently fly. A man of many talents."72 Mustang "Kermit",88 SN Miss Scarlett, 99 SN "Sherman" |
Posted By: Keeganino
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 3:17pm
|
What is it about people like the cousin? Think they can just swoop down, eat the cake and take off leaving somebody else to clean up the mess. Seems greed got the best of that a-holio, but what goes around comes around. Obviously you and your family meant more to him than anybody else in the world and that is what is important and will give you the strength needed to shoulder this difficult time. ------------- "working on these old boats may not be cost effective but as it shows its what it brings into your life that matters" -Roger http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=4897" rel="nofollow - 1973 Skier |
Posted By: Okie Boarder
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 4:20pm
|
eric,
My family will be thinking of you and praying for strength and courage, as well as wisdom to handle the situation in the best possible way! |
Posted By: harddock
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 5:26pm
|
Eric, Sorry for your loss. If you can't come to any resolve with the cousin you are best to walk away. You owe him nothing. If he is not the least bid understanding of any agreement you had with your friend, without a will you problably have no legal recourse and do not need to make cousin's life any easier by helping him. Hope it all works out. ------------- http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=4487" rel="nofollow - 1998 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: PAPA
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 8:38pm
| Eric, very sorry to hear about your loss. If I understand this correctly, you found something at the bank that states he is leaving everything to your kids? If so, his wishes came true. Did you actually find a will at the bank? I hope so, and again, truly sorry to hear about this loss. It is always hard to deal with these tragedies during the holiday season. I hope this turns out well for you and your family. |
Posted By: OverMyHead
Date Posted: December-29-2010 at 9:06pm
|
Sorry to hear about your friend Eric, as you know there are many things more important than money, I get the feeling you may end up with legal dealings from the cousin. Focus on what you know to be important and everything will be fine in the end. Your friend was lucky to have you around. ------------- For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats. 1987 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: December-30-2010 at 10:07am
|
thank you all for the kind words, ive had close people pass and it really never bothered me as does this.
He really thru the years was a lost lonely soul on this earth,an only child who's parents passed 3 and 5 years ago, and I know he is in a better place released from the demons that had a hold on him, and if you've ever been around that, you have to reflect back on the good times, He was shunned by many and i feel by sticking by his side in these final years it may have kept him here longer. and i have to personally deal with some guilty feelings that should pass with time. But, he was a cheap ass in life (remember the soap thing) lol, but very generous in his death, does that sound bad? I really thought all of his assets were going to his first of kin and to the church, and i can still hear him saying, "if I ever die you can have my truck" but upon making the arrangements i did find out there was no will which threw things up in the air, and in searching i did find a insurance policy and i called, and he switched the beneficiary to my wife and I, and I inquired about the funds to pay for his funeral which were at the bank and the finacial officer said i cant give you any information because you are not an executor of the will which there was not a will. and that afternoon he called me and told me he spoke to his boss and he informed me that he could give me the information that he switched the beneficiaries of his investment accounts into my childrens names about 6 months ago.. I never ever expected anything which it doesnt matter, but i think this is where the guilty feelings are manifesting. Ive learned a few life lessons this week. one of his neighborhood friends called me yesterday and he said "I know im in his will because he always phrased to him "Im going to take you out of my will" and i think he used that as a bargaining chip, All I said to the guy was you gotta be fcn kidding me, there is no will and i hung up on him. I'll keep you guys posted on when my friend gets buried, which seems like its going to be a while ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: Waterdog
Date Posted: December-30-2010 at 12:08pm
|
Sorry for your loss is just not enough. Things are just things, money is just money. A good freind is MUCH more. Try to rise to the task and stay the course of what you KNOW your freind wanted. Trust me you can't please everyone there will be a lot of cusin' People are funny when it comes to this sort of thing. I look at it like I didn't earn it so its not mine to take but I REALLY fight myself when someone else (undiserving) takes things they didn't earn. Wish I could help Eric. ------------- - waterdog - http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=3896&sort=&pagenum=2&yrstart=1978&yrend=1978" rel="nofollow - 78 Ski Tique |
Posted By: tnplicky
Date Posted: December-30-2010 at 1:22pm
|
Eric,
Sorry to hear of your loss of a true friend and for what you are now having to deal with. As you mentioned...
A will would have specifically spelled out your friends intentions and last wishes. Long lost cousins (and other vultures) would still be pi$$ed off they were left out, but it would have taken you out of the equation entirely from playing middle man. I know this doesn't help you right now, but hopefully others can benefit from your experience. If any of you don't currently have one, get started. I am going through the planning and creation process myself right now. Eric, again, sorry for your loss. |
eric lavine wrote:Posted By: quinner
Date Posted: December-30-2010 at 1:53pm
|
Eric, along with everybody else, sorry for your loss, although he is gone sounds like he won't be forgotten within your family.
Hope the kids are doing well, it will be nice one day to see your friend live on within whatever things the kid's use his gift for. ------------- http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=1143" rel="nofollow - Mi Bowt |
Posted By: 63 Skier
Date Posted: December-30-2010 at 2:55pm
|
Eric, I'm hopeful after reading your last post that there may be a good ending to this. Your friend changed his beneficiaries to you and your wife on the policy, and to your kids on the accounts, on his own without you even knowing that he had done it. That should make it completely clear that he did this on his own. The lack of a will may cause problems with taxes and delays, but I see no way the cousin or anyone else can claim those assets.
The truck and belongings are a different story, not sure how that will play out, maybe the cousin gets that stuff because it's not worth the fight. Maybe the best news is that the guy had a very good, loyal friend that might be the only person on earth looking out for his wishes. I guarantee you he knew and appreciated that more than anything. ------------- '63 American Skier - '98 Sport Nautique |
Posted By: jbear
Date Posted: December-30-2010 at 11:53pm
|
once again eric you go right for the heart. It is a pleasure to read along with you every day.
as everyone else..I am also sorry for your loss... john ------------- "Loud pipes save lives" AdamT sez "I'm Canadian and a beaver lover myself"... |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: December-31-2010 at 9:19am
|
you know what really kills me in this situation, the cousin traveled out here about 4 months ago to pick up a few items from my (deceased) friends parents estate because he is in charge of the Mceesport historical society, for the historical society, but he cant travel here to take care of final arrangements and he is letting his cousin lay in the morgue.....just wait until that bstd calls me again, i will tear him a new a-hole. I really believe in a judgement day and that is what should bring out the good in people...I just cant understand what this guy is thinking, have some dignity and bury your kin. ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: January-09-2011 at 4:04pm
|
as of today.....still in the morgue, give a man some respect and get him in the ground, almost a month, and you know, everytime the phone rings I think its him, I need closure ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: OverMyHead
Date Posted: January-09-2011 at 5:47pm
|
Sorry Eric, That is just not right, especially when someone cares and is wanting to handle it. Stay strong.
Dave ------------- For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats. 1987 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: January-10-2011 at 9:51am
|
thanks Dave, im going to make some calls today and get the ball rolling ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: connorssons
Date Posted: January-10-2011 at 2:12pm
| Eric! good luck with your calls today, hope all things work out for you.Jeff |
Posted By: Keeganino
Date Posted: January-10-2011 at 3:08pm
|
Ball rolling?!! At this point I envision Indiana Jones running for his life from a 10 ton boulder. I would not want to be on the other end of that conversation! Give em hell! ------------- "working on these old boats may not be cost effective but as it shows its what it brings into your life that matters" -Roger http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=4897" rel="nofollow - 1973 Skier |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: January-21-2011 at 10:20am
|
still in the morgue as of today, the apartment complex is on my ass to clean the place out, now they are giving me until the 30th, I need a release from the executor.
but on another note, another friend of a friend which I knew pretty well expired of the same curcumstances last Friday, my good friend was at Hospice with the guys mother sitting there. well anyways, she looked over to my friend and said " they are here" her son gurgled his last breathe. from what I gather they saw 3 balls of light about the size of baseballs hovering over him and then vanished, she was at peace. im just repeating what i was told. one of another lifes mysteries i guess ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: January-21-2011 at 10:22am
|
its the journey that sucks ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: OverMyHead
Date Posted: January-21-2011 at 10:29am
That is beautiful Eric. ------------- For thousands of years men have felt the irresistible urge to go to sea, and many of them died. Things got better after they invented boats. 1987 Ski Nautique |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: January-21-2011 at 10:34am
|
im not as afraid now ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: January-21-2011 at 10:36am
|
btw, I walk the straight and narrow, i would gather ones thoughts are "what the hell kinda friends does Eric have" ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-09-2011 at 9:30am
|
at peace, on monday he was finally buried.
I find one thing very puzzling, on the official death certificate its listed that the cause of death signed by his doctor of 25 years was alcoholic cirrosis of the liver, now I have never ever seen this guy take a sip of beer or liquor in the last 25 years... he died from the drugs that his doctor was giving him..CYA ? and I cant stress anymore on how much a will is needed in life, its a roller coaster, because of the delays the truck in impound right now and to get it out is 1000.00 bucks which the cousin asked me nicely if i could get it out and store it at my house..with me supplying the 1000.00 of coarse, now there are monies sitting in investment accounts which list my children as benificiaries, I need his signature, now you know which way this is going....the apartment still has all of its contents in it and the complex wants the sht out of there or it all goes to goodwill. WTF, fucin simpletons ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-09-2011 at 9:32am
|
needless to say im planning a trip out next weekend to see the gravesite ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |
Posted By: Swatkinz
Date Posted: February-09-2011 at 10:08am
|
Eric,
Did they do an autopsy? If so, his doctor of 25yrs. probably wouldn't have been the one to determine cause of death. Would've been a pathologist maybe. If no autopsy, how could they even say Cirrhosis of liver much less Cirrhosis caused by alcohol? You are right though. If he was on big doses of drugs, that could have definitely given his liver hell. ------------- Steve 2011 Sport/Air 200 Excalibur 343 2017 Boatmate Tandem Axle Trailer Former CC owner (77, 80, 95, 88, all SNs) Former Malibu owner (07, 09) |
Posted By: eric lavine
Date Posted: February-10-2011 at 10:19am
|
nope, it was marked as "determined cause of death"
to me alot of signs were there, he was selling things off. baffling...I wonder if a doctor gets gulity feelings.. ------------- "the things you own will start to own you" |