"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill
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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain
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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde
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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill
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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
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"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
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"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
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"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
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Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
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