Four short stories
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URL: http://www.CorrectCraftFan.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=9606
Printed Date: December-25-2024 at 8:58pm
Topic: Four short stories
Posted By: roadkingpuck
Subject: Four short stories
Date Posted: February-10-2008 at 2:34pm
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When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. It became very quiet in the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has pulled? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board thatcan treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?' Once again, dead silence. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained tha whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these onferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You could have heard a pin drop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE . . . A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You Americans always have to show your passports upon arrival in France !" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to." |
Replies:
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: February-10-2008 at 6:54pm
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Great stories Roadkingpuck.
I especially appreciate the stories where the French (our beloved neighbours eh) are invloved. They match you people in thinking they are the greatest country in the world LOL. And I love both of you!  ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
Posted By: 65 'cuda
Date Posted: February-10-2008 at 10:58pm
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The French...
"De Gaulle gave clout to the once weak French presidency and stabilized France. But jealous of the Churchill-Roosevelt wartime bond, he remained a passionate anti-Atlanticist with a long memory. In 1963, still irate over Britain's cave-in to U.S. pressure to pull back from Suez in 1956, he vetoed Britain's application to join the European Economic Community. (His successors obstructed the entry of Spain and Portugal.) The following year, he withdrew France from the nato military command and asked President Lyndon Johnson to remove U.S. troops from France. A seething Secretary of State Dean Rusk flew to Paris to seek clarification: "Does your order include the bodies of American soldiers in France's cemeteries?" ------------- Gary http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=941" rel="nofollow - 1965 Barracuda SS |
Posted By: Riley
Date Posted: February-10-2008 at 11:13pm
What other country has ever done for other countries what we have done? ------------- |
Kristof wrote:Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: February-11-2008 at 6:18am
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Riley,
I agree with you on the fact that your countiry has done more than it's share in helping others. I've been from Normandy to the Ardennes to see how you freed us from the Nazi regime, so I know my history... And every response I get on this site proves to me that you Americans are always willing to help. That's why I appreciate my new friends here so much! BUT...Belgium is a small country with an army of somewhat 40.000 actives, that has always been ready to help as a NATO partner. As small as our country and our army is, we're active in some 20 countries to help our NATO friends (Yougoslavia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Zaire,... are a few of them). What I said about the French is true in general, they have the idea that everybody should bow for France (it's a Louis XIV and Napoleon thing...). It is true in general, but not all the French people think that way. Same thing goes for Germany: you can't keep blaming them for WW II, for they too help out their NATO partners nowadays. So, I for one will always jump in to help keep our free world FREE. And the good thing is: I know my back is covered! ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
Posted By: Morfoot
Date Posted: February-11-2008 at 9:05am
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Just to add a few more stories in the mix. Don't know if you've heard these but since we're on the topic these are a couple of my favorites............
A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war." The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The PA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land." ------------- "Morfoot; He can ski. He can wakeboard.He can cook chicken.He can create his own self-named beverage, & can also apparently fly. A man of many talents."72 Mustang "Kermit",88 SN Miss Scarlett, 99 SN "Sherman" |
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: February-11-2008 at 9:45am
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LOL
Good ones Morfoot, will have to tell those to our German friends from the Malibu Showteam... They are from Frankfurt ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
Posted By: Waterdog
Date Posted: February-13-2008 at 10:48am
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A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot
on his shoulder. The bartender looks at him and says - "Were did you get that?" The parrot answers - "France they got thousands of them!!!" ------------- - waterdog - http://www.correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=3896&sort=&pagenum=2&yrstart=1978&yrend=1978" rel="nofollow - 78 Ski Tique |