The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNA
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Printed Date: December-26-2024 at 8:52am
Topic: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNA
Posted By: nates78ski
Subject: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNA
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 10:32am
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The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)
WASHINGTON , DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing." In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S.employer of Persons of Inability. Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%). Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires. Finally, the AWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled--banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" "As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her lack of any discernible job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Ted Kennedy: "As a Senator With No Abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation." ------------- Nathan http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=1463&sort=&pagenum=3&yrstart=1978&yrend=1978" rel="nofollow - My '78 Ski Nautique <a href="http://photobucket.com/Nates78ski" rel="nofoll |
Replies:
Posted By: tullfooter
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 11:42am
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Nate
That's funny as hell. The scary thing is, it's well within the realm of possibilities, with the way our government could be heading. 
Kristof, this story is done in jest, don't worry (yet). Steve ------------- Play hard, life's not a trial run. '85 BFN '90 BFN White Lake, Michigan |
Posted By: nates78ski
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 12:23pm
haha yes, im glad it's been realized that it is just a joke. I was hoping i wouldnt have to come back here & clarify that. But yeah, with all the BS political correctness that's going on...give it a few years...it'll probably be real 
Nate ------------- Nathan http://correctcraftfan.com/diaries/details.asp?ID=1463&sort=&pagenum=3&yrstart=1978&yrend=1978" rel="nofollow - My '78 Ski Nautique <a href="http://photobucket.com/Nates78ski" rel="nofoll |
Posted By: 05 210
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 1:33pm
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My father in law ( a business owner for 40 years) made a comment to me one day when I said something about unemployment being at 4%.His statement was "Well,it should be 5%,because in my experiences at least 5% of all Americans are unemployable".
I could go on about that statement for hours....but I won't  .
Mike ------------- http:/diaries/details.asp?ID=2219" rel="nofollow - Air Nautique 210 Team 640 hours, not 1 regret |
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 8:40pm
Eeeh... As a bloody forreigner... could you tell me what "done in jest" means? I want to learn you know... Thanks 
------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
tullfooter wrote:Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 8:43pm
Mike, My wife owns a business and as you mentionned, I could have an all nighter on that one with you with a few beers in front of our noses (would be quit a few beers tho...) ------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |
Posted By: boat dr
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 9:02pm
It means a funny or HA HA HA.This is not the truth,,,,,, Laugh with me not at me,,,, Just a story that has little or no fact ,as a means to amuse those reading or listening to the story..... We have a SIC sense of humor here, some people get it some don't.....Boar dr ------------- boat dr /diaries/details.asp?ID=4631 - 1949 Dart /diaries/details.asp?ID=1533 - 1964 American Skier |
Posted By: tullfooter
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 9:52pm
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Kristof
Hope this helps jest Main Entry: jest Pronunciation: \ˈjest\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English geste idle tale, story in verse, from Anglo-French, deed, action, narrative, from Latin gesta deeds, from neuter plural of gestus, past participle of gerere to bear, wage Date: circa 1548 1: an utterance (as a jeer or quip) intended to be taken as mockery or humor Steve ------------- Play hard, life's not a trial run. '85 BFN '90 BFN White Lake, Michigan |
Posted By: boat dr
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 9:58pm
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Steve , I hope Kristof understood more of that than I did.As to the above I have one question ??????????
HUH?????? Boat dr ------------- boat dr /diaries/details.asp?ID=4631 - 1949 Dart /diaries/details.asp?ID=1533 - 1964 American Skier |
Posted By: tullfooter
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 10:24pm
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Sorry Doc
I cut and pasted the def from a dictionary. I was trying to get fancy on this machine. I'll stop. Jest: 1: an utterance (as a jeer or quip) intended to be taken as mockery or humor (a joke) Steve ------------- Play hard, life's not a trial run. '85 BFN '90 BFN White Lake, Michigan |
Posted By: boat dr
Date Posted: March-10-2008 at 11:15pm
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Steve, you gotta remember where I live,most words here only have two syllables, more than that and "WE" shorten them.
Not telling you to stop, just asking you to change the curve a little for us "DOWN HERE"......JEST this one I know..or how we use it here.... Jest wait a minute,da chicken ain't done yet.. Did I do good Steve?????? boat dr New Orleans or Norlins, takes less air to say.. ------------- boat dr /diaries/details.asp?ID=4631 - 1949 Dart /diaries/details.asp?ID=1533 - 1964 American Skier |
Posted By: Kristof
Date Posted: March-11-2008 at 6:44am
Oh but don't worry Doc, I too have a sick sense of humor, but there are times that I need some explanation, because English isn't my mothertongue... Ya feel me? 
Steve, thanks for the elaborate explanation from your part... I get it now
------------- - Gun control means: using BOTH hands! - Money doesn't make one happy, but when it rains cats and dogs, it's still better to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle... |