wifes

If she is hot and can afford a 600 dollar pair of glasses she is a keeper! BTW does she have a sister

not a wife story but i have a new girlfriend . we were sitting in my kitchen this weekend she wa smaking scampi. i saw my springer pup tossing something around in the air.turns out it was her brand new $600.00 glasses. no lenses left no ear cushions.    and has never had a dog before . She laughed and said god he is so cute (puppy)    is she a keeper?

This is probably old, but I swear it's a true story.

I told my wife that when she turns 40    I was going to trade her in
for two twenties.

She turned around and said:   "You ain't wired for 220"

Women - They don't belch, they don'fart, and they don't snore, therefore; they must bitch or else they might blow up!

One of my buddies has a shirt that says "Missing wife and tractor, reward for tractor." (It's a little odd considering we're Juniors in HS, but still funny I think)

Missing Maine Wife...

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident off the coast ofMaine ,a man answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers.

"We know it's late, sir, but we have some information about your wife," saidone of the Troopers.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.

The Troopers looked at each other.

One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great

news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the husband said "Give me the bad news first."

The second Trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning wefound your wife's body in the bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The Trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her."

Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???"

The Trooper answered, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow".

a man could get hurt with that list posted on the fridge, especially when you circle the last one

sorry girls, Wives, havnt learned how to use spell check, no crutches here

im getting the silent treatment tonight for some reason

Randy_in_Ohio wrote:       Wedding cake!

Thats the main food that kills their sex drive!    

"Men are not fat. Only fat women are fat." Peter Griffen, circa 2007

After you read that, you can understand why they call them "the good old days!".
I like the part where it says "his topics of conversation are more important than yours". I especially like where it says "don't complain... even if he stays out all night.
I would be content if my wife followed the rule, "Be happy to see him"
Man, am I glad my wife doesn't peruse this site.

and with the f

Don't forget the great memory they seem to have. During moments of disagreements, they always seem to bring up something you did like 25 years ago. Then, I can't even remember the incident!!!

how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?? get your wife a shovel...